Happy Birthday greetings are the most popular post on Facebook. There's nothing wrong with that, (I got about 60 hbd posts) but only a handfull of people called me up to sing or say hello. It's easier to click a LIKE, to click a "Wish John Happy Birthday" than it is to really connect. So are our social networks actually working against our socialization skills? Do we txt when we should call?
I've been hearing more and more about the disconnect that social media is causing. We stay inside and write an email when we should go out for coffee or call. So is it facebook, is it society, is it the new pace of life or the new norm?
What does it take today to make actually contact with someone? A date, location and a willingness and flexibility. And the desire to make the effort to meet. Both parties have to make an effort. First dates are kind of the same way. You have to "want" to go on a date, you have to be motivated by the possibility of meeting new people.
One clear example, for me, of the lack of warmth on the net has to do with things aren't going so swell. Looking for encouragement in facebook posts is like looking for nutrition in McDonald's fries. While sometimes I do put up an open "feeling" post, and I do get some responses, they are more like high fives and not warm fuzzies. Perhaps we don't want to share at a deep level on facebook. I would say that is a simple truth.
So, in some ways, facebook gives us some updates in people's lives. But the updates are kind of like notes on a high school yearbook, or a family scrapbook. Here's what I saw today, here's what my awesome kid did, here's something to think about. AND THAT IS FINE. And I do like knowing about the lives of my "friends" on facebook.
I also think we need to work to get face-2-face with each other more often. Make the effort to meet and talk with someone you care about, someone you want to support, someone who can/has/might offer you encouragement.
There is a huge amount of information that is exchanged during a face-2-face meeting that is subliminal, subconscious, and deep. I'm not getting all woo woo on you, it's a scientific fact that our presence with another person, begins to shape our conscious and unconscious thoughts in mysterious ways. (No comment on that phenomenon related to first or second dates!)
So here is the bottom line. If you love someone tell them in person. If you want to reach out and LIKE someone's post on facebook, consider what a phone call would mean to them. Or to you. And then act accordingly.
Facebook is a great tool and a great network, but it's only TECH-DEEP. We need skin deep to communicate at the highest levels available to us as humans. I believe in social media as a business driver and a connection maker. But I believe we have to reach out when we want to touch someone.
@jmacofearth (also seen on Google+: jmacofearth)
permalink: http://uber.la/2012/01/social-disconnect/
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We get social!
