You have to imagine this entire story with me laughing. I was smiling, and was amazed at each twist how far off the rails my experience was becoming, starting in the Atlanta airport. If you don't imagine my smile, you will hear sarcasm or worse, cynicism. We will have none of that here. So, you got it? Smiling, me. ;-)
As the afternoon burned on, I found myself here:
With friend and wing-man, MB sayin, "JMac, I don't think your gonna make your flight."
"That's okay, I'll just catch the next one out to Dallas or something."
The phone-person at US Airlines kept saying, "I'm sorry sir, you are supposed to arrive 2 hours early for any flight. We don't have anything else going out today. You'll be on the flight tomorrow at 5:30 am."
A quick jump via phone-web to Expedia, Travelocity and Priceline confirmed the damage. If I wanted to fly to Austin today I was going to pay more than my initial round-trip ticket. BB said, "Didn't you use the travel agency?"
"Uh… Yeah, it's called the Internet."
And that smart-aleck remark led me here, holding boarding passes for tomorrow morning. The lady at the US Airlines ticket counter called it a "hotel wall."
So the problem here is I don't have a clue where to stay, what to pay or how to go about assessing the opportunities and pitfalls. So I select a Mariott, where I stayed last night, in fact. Dial 97 it says on the plastic ad, illuminated with a picture of the front of the hotel and teasers like "free wifi, sports and activities room, best airport rates, only 5 minutes away."
I was tired. I was staying in Atlanta against my will. I wanted a room, cheap and fast. But mostly without a hassle.
When I got put on hold by Mariott Airport South, I tried Mariott Airport North. I honestly couldn't tell you if I was on the South or Northside of the airport, but I guess it really didn't matter. Well, it might have mattered, but I didn't go with Mariott. When I got Marriott North, I was quoted $169 for a room. I checked the non-descript picture on the illuminated hotel wall and dialed again.
This time I tried the Hilton Spot. Or something like that. Very cool picture, nice looking lounge. $179. "I'm sorry sir, we don't have any more rooms at that rate."
Next I dialed 98, clearly marked on the advertisement as DoubleTree Inn. Another serene image, of a dark smokey-looking bar area and an outdoor pool. This time I connected with a human on ring number 3. She sounded happy to hear from me.
"$54.99 for two doubles and $62.50 for a king," she said. "How many nights?"
"One."
"Okay," she said, again sounding rather friendly, "Can you hold on just a second I have to switch phones?"
I waited. She returned to the phone and started asking me all the usual information. Name, CC#, smoking or non-smoking…
"Is it very far away," I asked.
"No, only about one mile." She said, giving me my confirmation number. "See you in a few minutes."
DONE.
"This is the DoubleTree, right?" I asked, almost as an after thought as I was hanging up the phone.
"No sir, this is the Budgetel. You catch the shuttle between rows 23 and 29."
"Budgetel?"
"Yes Sir. See you in a few minutes."
I gave in to her enthusiastic sales style. "Okay, see ya in a bit."
Next step… Waiting for a shuttle to arrive with the name of a hotel I wasn't really quite clear on:
I was glad it was still sunny, because I had not packed a jacket, and I knew it would be chillier as the night wore on. I figured the shuttle, some shuttle would be here any minute.
Looking South I was at least reassured that there were a lot of other people in the same situation. Or at least waiting for a shuttle to a hotel. Perhaps slightly more well informed. And they had jackets.
Looking North the view was much the same. I seriously began to doubt that I had a hotel at all. As van after van drove by. I almost jumped on the DoubleTree shuttle, but I stayed and hoped.
And then my lucky moment arrived, and a van pulled up with the Budgetel logo on it. I'd never seen a Budgetel logo, since the ad was not on the "hotel wall" yet, but I could read the writing. And I was reassured when some other kind folks got on the shuttle with me. They were going to the Drury Inn, but at least we were on the same team. Or at least in the same bus.
And that's about the time that things started to get weird.
Funny, that sign looks familiar, something about the shape…
Oh, that's it. Red Roof Inn.
I made my way to my room only to hear a dog barking in the next room. I was tired, and now a bit dazzled by all that Atlanta's Airport hotel wall had done for me. I was ready for some food and perhaps a libation.
And while I can't testify that I saw their advertisement on the "hotel wall" for a sports center, I CAN tell you that I saw one.
And while I have so much more to tell, I will wrap tonight's episode with the punctuation point.
When I wake up in the morning, I'll tell you the rest of the story. Cause it doesn't end with the Rita–which was pretty mediocre. It got even more fun for a bit. But I'm to tired to type any more. And as they say in those old Motel 8 ads, the rooms are all the same once you close your eyes.
I'd like to add, "Not exactly," to the sentiment.
And of course I don't yet know how it's going to turn out.
@jmacofearth
permalink: http://bit.ly/hotel-wall
