my dear brother and mentor robert marion
"Brother!"
Robert Davidson Marion
12-31-51 to 2-21-09
The obituary in the Austin paper this morning says "Sadly, but peacefully, he left this world in his home, Austin TX, on February 21st, 2009."
Everything stopped for me. The tears came. I played a song for him and sat somewhat stunned and somewhat at peace that his deep suffering was over. One of the most joyous and supportive people I ever met, Robert struggled with the passing of his second son, Adam, the musician and poet, and with the dissolution of his marriage to Janice. With deep love for one another and their friends and patients the Marions continued to be a source of joy and healing for me and my friends.
The one greeting that always came out of his mouth when we saw each other was, "Brother!" And after a brief pause to ask about how he was doing, his rejoinder to me was always, "How is your music?"
for a dear friend now now made of light (<< click arrow to preview song) by john mcelhenney and the martian dust devils
In the true piercing way he had, he knew my core joy and could put the question to me without a blink. Almost like a gut check. "Are you right with the world?" But much simpler.
In the last 5 times I saw Robert, at the Indian food restaurant near his clinic and the last time, at his clinic as a patient, his fire and passion seemed somewhat dimmed from the image of him I carried inside of me. And though he treated me with care and nurturing back in Nov. 08, there was a connection gap that I could not penetrate.
Always one to greet me as "brother" with a massive open hug, his hugs had begun to have a infinitesimal but noticeable opaqueness. Rather than open with the possibilities ahead and how he and I would join again soon for many things, I felt a resignation to remain separate with our joys and most clearly with our pains.
A spectacular healer, Robert was able to counsel me briefly about my shoulder pain, and treat me with the same care as I had come to expect in the 50 or so times I had seen him as a patient over the years. And he did stay in the room with me for a few minutes to chat about life. But he quickly moved along out of the room without sharing any of his life or passions. And that was a loss for me.
Often people come to doctors for listening as much as treatment. It is proven that merely telling another person about your pain or sadness has amazing healing powers. And if there is a "connect" as I call it, the bond allows the healing to flow both ways. And Robert was no longer willing or able to allow that flow to happen between us. I felt a great loss upon leaving his office for the last time.
Now I can release Robert back to his highest form.
He picked me up as a patient when I was struggling in a bad relationship. He treated both of us. He never spoke unkindly about my then wife or ultimately ex-wife. He merely commented on her beauty and fire! But what Robert did for me was synthesize so much of what I believed about life. Eat well. Breathe. Drink less. Exercise.
I am not sure how well Robert himself was practicing these things over the years since Adam died.
As a shining star, Adam was his artist and poet and sensitive son.
All four of the Marion boys have remarkable talents. And each one grew up wrestling with a big bear of a father and learning to fend for themselves against their remarkably energetic and feisty bothers. The scenes of the boys, running amok and wrestling, fighting, crying, hitting, laughing and running off again in ecstasy, will never be lost in my memory. For me, at that time, Robert and Janice and four boys were my example of a family that I dreamed of creating, a massive joy and connectedness and struggle that I longed for in my past and hoped for in my future.
Robert took care to nurture the talents and feelings of each boy as an individual. Someone wanted to play music, then hire them a teacher and have him come every week and submerge them in the sound. Someone wanted to be a cook or a judo master or a lawyer, they would be supported to do what they needed to do to get there. Of course this is the rosey picture of an outsider.
As a dad and husband myself I understand that much more was in play in the private relationships. But what I know about is how Robert "fathered" me and supported me through many life transitions and growth spurts and breakdowns. Always there, always solid, always a warm hug and rub of the ZinGuShway on my back, Robert was always a piece of bedrock that formed part of my foundation.
I can feel, looking at his picture in the paper, as well as the photo I grabbed from an online article about his healing powers, that Robert is here with me. Again the shining brother. Again the bear hugger and spiritual guide who lead sweat lodges and taught Kushi Macrobiotics at the old EastWest Center with Janice.
"How is your music?" He will ask me more frequently, now that his spirit can roam freely and hug me more deeply.
Namasté dear brother.
@jmacofearth
permalink: http://bit.ly/brother-robert
Update: 2-3-09: The photo from yesterday's touching service.
