uber.la

Writing about stuff is not always easy. Each time I run into difficult times, and I do, I have to make judgement calls about what to write about and what to keep to myself. And if I'm really deep in it, I can't think of anything to write about at all. Because I'm not writing just to put my badge on my sleeve, my goal is to impart some ideas that spark ideas in the readers. And if what I am *in* at the moment is deep and dark, it's hard to figure out where to draw the line.

What is confessional? What is cathartic, but perhaps not illustrative to anyone but me? What does anyone care about, that I have a perspective on? And how do I keep my private life out of my writing when my private life is overwhelming?

For the most part I have worked to keep a fairly clean line between my blogging and the rest of my life. That's not to say that my constant writing has not put a strain on my personal life. (Any other bloggers and social media writers feeling the heat of that one?) But I often attempt to weave the daily lessons into posts that don't refer to specific names and places, but can be used to understand a difficult passage in my professional life.

An example of when the anger and the sword of *truth* shown ignorantly bright was when I was part of Dell's large RIF (reduction in force), soon after the economic numbers of 08 began to get really gloomy. My group, Dell Global Online, was compressed by over 50%. And while I tried to remain positive about the situation, the anger from my Dell departure manifested itself in a series of scathing posts, that I believed to be both truthful and illustrative. And most of all I wanted to get the truth out there. At least that was my conviction. But convictions ain't necessarily so.

Over time, I came to see that my obsession with Dell, and Dell's mistakes, was blinding me to more important issues in my life and my growth. I did work to keep a balanced flow of writing, but things that Dell would do, kept triggering not only my ire, but my self-proclaimed rapier of justice and "doing better."

I have to admit I was grinding my rapier at the expense of my own progress and letting go.

I would chuckle each time I would come up with some witty way to give it to "the man" with broad strokes. At one point, I even alluded to burning the bridge in defiance. Wow. (And "Yikes!")

These posts are mostly resting quietly offline in the "drafts" folder at this time. And it's not that any of them are wrong. Or that my observations were not accurate and illustrative. Perhaps they were. But my angle of repose was one of vindication. And I was not vindicated, I was let go. I was mad. I was confused. I was defiant.

In the same way, I don't write about my relationship or my kids. You can find a lot about me and them on my Facebook page, for what that's worth, but as I struggle with things less social media/leadership/technology related, I keep them offline.

So what is reflected back from the blank page that is a blog? And what do we leave to the handwritten journals, that may become songs, or poems, or observations for a future sharing? It's an interesting boundary.

It's not like I have any illusions that you couldn't find out a lot about my life, love, kids and struggles using Google alone. But for the most part, visitors here, to Uber.la are "first time readers" who were brought in by a search engine topic or a tweet/retweet about a specific post. And for those readers, I am probably going to get 1 – 2 minutes if they don't bounce in the first 10 seconds. And my belief is that I should try and impart something direct and simple in that short amount of time.

With rapier wit if possible, but not at the expense of others. That too is a goal and an ambition.

@jmacofearth
permalink: http://bit.ly/wit-conviction

The "ON" Leadership tab offers some more posts of this type.

A few more illustrative posts (in my opinion):

• Finding and Establishing Cadence: Team Updates & Milestones – Timing Is Everything
• The Lifetime Value of a Mentor – Business is One Thing, Deep Trust Is Another Thing Entirely
• Building Social Networks of Trust and the Challenges of Dysfunctional Teamwork
• Sustainability and Social Media: A Year Later at #SXSW Dell≠Green? (updated 4-20-10) (How a little ol' me redirected/led the giant Dell.)
• Leadership in the Face of Adversity: When You're Looking for Clues During a Work Crisis

Tags: a difficult passage, blogging, dell, dell global online, dell's large RIF, drawing the boundaries, looking into the mirror, my obsession with Dell, oversharing, personal life, professional blogging, professional life, rapier wit, spark ideas, sword of defiance, sword of truth, the rest of my life, truthful and illustrative, what not to blog, what to blog