Dear Google

More than likely you have come across What Color Is Your Parachute? the seminal career and life-finding book by Richard N. Bolles. But he wrote another book which may be even more important in learning what it is we (you) want to do.

This book, The Three Boxes of Life, talks about the three major periods in our lives as we grow up, and the roles we play during those periods. They are pretty obvious: 1. Student/Learn; 2. Worker/Earn Money; 3. Retiree/Play.

The problem with this model, that we buy into early on in our journey, is that it sets up the longest and most potent part of our lives to be drudgery: work work work. In the Bolles book he begins to explain that often our path is not as linear as we might think it is. And as a model, the three boxes are actually a trap.

All along the path of life, we will find ourselves in moments of play, or learning, even during the ever-long period of work. The trick, as I see it, is to recognize those moments when we’ve escaped the boxes for a moment, and to celebrate the variety of play/learn periods. Of course, being in my mid-career period, I am diligently striving in the middle box. I’m having some success and some setbacks, but along I go.

And then there are moments, opportunities, to hop right out of the box and play my ass off. I certainly know how to work my ass off, why not apply the same focus to play, escape, joy, and learning… EVEN WHILE IN THE WORK BOX.

Here’s what I mean.

Today I am up and at it at 5:00 am. And by 9:00 am I will be packing the kids into the car, on a Friday, to head out to a nearby wilderness part for a day hike. And we’re taking two friends along with my two kids. Sure, I understand your "so what" reaction to that activity. But here’s the difference between my vacation day and my regularly scheduled vacation days: I’m going to do this escape act every Friday this summer, while my kids are out of school.

So as I quest on to unlock the potential financial stability of self-employment, I am conscious watching for the opportunities to jump into the PLAY and LEARN box more frequently. In Bolles book, he explains that this often happens during periods self-discovery, and job loss is his most famous example. But we don’t have to toil on inside each of the boxes and let the rigid ideas of their "responsibility" and "progression" rule our lives.

There is less opportunity to look outside the box when things are not going well, when we are hustled along by debt, work deadlines, and other responsibilities. But it is up to us to recognize when we have a chance to jump out of the box of work and into LEARN and PLAY. There is no one else who is going to look after this for us. And with a little planning, we can take Fridays off to be with our kids.

This breaking of the pattern does a cool thing for my kids as well. It demonstrates for them, that work is not drudgery, that inside the role of WORKER I can make PLAY and make connecting with them a priority.

I love my work. I’ve planned, learned, worked, and managed to get here by working with purpose. Today, I play with purpose as well.

@jmacofearth (also seen on Google+: jmacofearth)

permalink: https://uber.la/2012/06/three-boxes/

Reference: The Three Boxes of Life and How to Get Out of Them: An Introduction to Life/Work Planning Richard N. Bolles

Some more for your LEARN box of social media:

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• You Don’t Have To Start Learning Google+, But You’re Gonna Fall Behind
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• Positive Momentum: How Do You Generate Your Forward Thinking?
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• Truth, Transparency, and Trust: How Do We Establish Our Connection?
• Positive Forces: Delayed, Deflected, Divorced, Distracted, But Not Deterred
• Plussing or Dividing: How Are You Showing Up in the World?
• Dear Graduate – a Toolkit for Learners and Job Hunters
• Expert Not Found – Social Media is About Being a "Student" not a "Guru"

Most people don’t really enjoy being mean; they do it because they can’t help it. (from Graham’s Hierarchy of Disagreement)