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Loving the Body: Size, Weight, Color, Age, Fitness, Happiness

If the body is the reflection of the soul, I need some soul-searching. No… Wait… That’s not it.

Let’s try again. I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my body since a very young age. And at 50, (See also: My 50-year-old Body: A Love Hate Relationship ) some things are out of my control, but my mental attitude isn’t. And as I am in the dating market again (that sounds creepy) I am trying to understand my relationship to my body again, in the same way, I am trying to understand what I see as attractive. It’s a rocky road on both sides of my experience.

In the beginning, I was born a happy white child in an affluent neighborhood in a sleepy Southern town. My mom, being a wonderful Southern belle, was also quite a cook. I grew up with that healthy and hefty build we sometimes refer to as big-boned.

It’s odd that we have all been programmed to love youthful sexiness as our measure of beauty. It’s odd and kind of messed up.

One of my joys in the early days of life was playing Pop Warner football. What was so amazing about it, besides loving the crash and boom energy of smashing into other boys at top speed, was this: I was literally at the top of the weight class. At one game, I had to walk around with a coach, spitting and trying to pee, so I could “make weight.” While this could’ve been humiliating, both the coach and I knew that my weight and strength was a huge advantage to our team. I made it in and scored a couple touchdowns to win the game.

Aside from the confidence and pride I had in my football dominance, I didn’t ever think about being fat, or big-boned.

Then came 7th and 8th-grade girls. I began learning to use my confidence and strength, and I learned to suck in my stomach. I learned that skinnier was better. It worked for a while.

And I guess I never really realized I was unhappy with my body again until I was in my forties and married with a kid. I looked down one day to discover that the stress eating at my crazy job, and my older metabolism had conspired against my big bones and created a ME that didn’t feel much like me. And walking around cussing and spitting and peeing wasn’t going to get me back into shape.

But it’s hard to find the motivation. And your body doesn’t respond in the same ways it did when we were unlimited. And thus I’ve struggled between loving and hating my older body for some time. I’m starting to come out of it, now at fifty, but it’s still a long path. And it’s mostly mental.

Switching the focus for a second to women, and specifically women I find attractive, I can start to understand why body image has become such a huge industry and trap. It is easy to see the hyper-skinny models who are paraded before us and we automatically think THAT is what beauty is. They lie.

Sure, I can see the erotic potency of a teenager in a bathing suit. Even if that teenager is really a 20-ish starved model. I remember what that felt like, to see her in high school, and to aspire to be with someone that beautiful. But that was high school. And while I also am aware that the media pushes this version of sexy on all of us (even Cosmo cover girls look like teenagers) I am clear about my position: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN TEENAGED SEXUAL ENERGY.

As I am evaluating and learning to love my 50-year-old body, I am also aware of the 50-year-old women’s bodies in my range of sight. I have not had much time to look at them. I have experience with really only one such body, over the years. I loved all the changes in my then-wife’s body. I was into my older woman.

It’s odd that we have all been programmed to love youthful sexiness as our measure of beauty. It’s odd and kind of messed up.

we can suck in our stomachs early on, but we’re going to eventually see each other naked, I mean, that’s the goal. And sometimes, I’d prefer the lights are on.

I am reshaping my future and my body through hard work and constant awareness of diet, exercise, sleep, and happiness. And while I haven’t had much experience with “other” women, I look forward to that next relationship, so I can relearn what beautiful is, from this age.

We have been programmed to think skinny and young is the only measure of beauty. That’s kind of crazy since my opportunity or desire to be with a twenty-year-old is near zero. I’m looking for a mom, who’s happy and radiant, and in her forties or early fifties. And I’m prepared to meet her halfway between the perfect body and working on it. We are in this for the long haul. And I guess, as over 50-ish people, we will always be “working on it.”

But let’s work on it together. And let’s drop the unreal standard of youth = beauty for BOTH OF US. Because we can suck in our stomachs early on, but we’re going to eventually see each other naked, I mean, that’s the goal. And sometimes, I’d prefer the lights are on.

I’ve got a lot more information these days about how the relationship part works. And while I thought I knew a lot about women, and courting, and sexiness, my research and study ended about 20+ years ago. I’m hungry for new discoveries. And resetting my field of study towards a more realistic match.

Be careful out there. Let’s find self-love first. Then real love with another person becomes possible.

John McElhenney – let’s connect online
@jmacofearth & Google+ & Facebook & LinkedIn

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Related Posts from The Whole Parent:

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I welcome your comments and suggestions here.
And your participation via Facebook and Twitter.

Image: global fitness media shoot, rance costa, creative commons usage

Biohacks and BioPacks: What’s Your Health Stack?

WHAT’S YOUR HACK?

This weekend I was invited as a press member to cover PaleoFX. Wow, what an eye-opening event. Covering the healthy diet trend called “paleo” this conference went way beyond food. In addition to food supplements and vendors of healthy snacks and all varieties of healthier foods, the PaleoFX tradeshow floor was filled to bursting with everything you might have in mind regarding optimal health.

What machines, chemicals, states of mind, exercises, foods, philosophies, can we use in our lives to live longer, fitter, happier lives? – what is a biohack?

So the biohacking track was of most interest to me, as I’m continuing to push on my body to be healthier. Why wouldn’t we want pills, mechanical devices, foods, and exercises that will take us to a better quality of life? We would want that. We injest all kinds of experimental substances in our daily lives, from GMO products (even if we don’t know it) to tap water laced with chlorine and fluoride. But there are things we can do, simple things, to mitigate the damage of these environmental toxins. And there are even proactive things we can do to improve our quality of life now and help ourselves down the road as well. (activities: yoga, pilates, exercise, meditation; fuel: better water, better produce, less meat; technologies: biofeedback devices, exercise tools, grounding systems, and micro-impact products)

I attended the conference to hear the biohacking track, but I spent some time walking the tradeshow floor exploring some of the “out-there” tools, ideas, foods, and supplements.

That said, here is my biohack stack.

From top left to right: Vitamin D Spray from ONNIT; Alpha Brain from ONNIT; Active Adult 50+ multivitamin from RainbowLight; MTC Oil from ONNIT; Super Omega Fish Oil from SFH, protein bar from RXBar.

Things I know we need more of:

  • omega-3s from fatty acids (fish oil supplement)
  • vitamin d – we simply can’t get enough, and many of us need less sun on our skins
  • plant-based multivitamin – because, I eat as well as I can, and then I eat queso and chips
  • MCT Oil – fatty acids again, and I like to titrate my coffee with something that slows the rush
  • RXBar – good supplement when my blood sugar is lagging (during sports, late afternoon droop, evening tiny-dessert – one little bite)
  • Coconut Oil – good for everything, cooking, coffee, lubricant

And I believe the following life practices are in my best interest. I don’t always make time for them…

Meditation – It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it. Give your mind a rest. Train you mind to focus on calm and not respond to all the stimulus and crisis-ridden activities of our busy lives.

Exercise – walking every day keeps me sane, it also helps with weight gain, positive outlook, micro-impact workout. (I also play tennis, road bike, mountain bike, and am starting to run with my daughter as she readies for cross country her sophomore year at high school.

Sleep – I have a little app on my phone that tells me at 9:15 that I need to get to bed by ten to get my full 9-hours of sleep. Of course, that’s idea. I shoot for 8 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

Water – drink plenty of it, make sure you run it through some sort of purification system to remove the bad stuff. I don’t do bottled water as I think there are problems with the quality and delivery mechanism.

Sex – this one is a bit harder to quantify. But it’s on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in the SURVIVAL category. We are touch-centered creatures. Get your touch needs met even if you’re not having sex. And learn about getting into yourself, if you’re alone.

Community – we are creatures of community. Find your tribe. Hangout with people you love and who make you feel loved. Be love by giving and receiving love in your community.

Self-Awareness and Self-Care – stay on the path of discovering yourself, what works, what doesn’t work, and maximize the positive and systematically and regularly remove the negative.

“How can I love someone else, when I don’t even love myself.” – Jason Falkner

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what’s missing from my stack. Or you could share your stack in the comments and I will add them to this discussion post. I don’t KNOW any of this. I feel it. I work to keep myself in the healthy zone. I’m interested in building my TRIBE as it relates to physical, spiritual, and mental health.

Be careful out there, and practice safehex.

John McElhenney – let’s connect online
@jmacofearth & Google+ & Facebook & LinkedIn

All HEALTH/WELLNESS posts from Uber.la

Disclaimer: I was given a free pass to PaleoFX by the organizers. I am not paid and derive no income from my endorsement or links to manufacturer products unless specifically stated.

Biohacking Your Health for Longevity and Optimal Performance (@PaleoFX – day one)

PALEOFX April 27, 2018
Austin, Texas – BIOHACKING PANEL

Left to right
Kyle Kingsbury – MMA- retired – ONNIT;
Jolly Jolly – lifespan.io;
Ben Greenfield – Greenfield Fitness Systems;
Alex Charfen – Billionaire Code
Moderator: Dr. Kirk Parsley – Doc Parsley

I didn’t understand a lot of the acronyms these guys were using, but the commitment to #biohacking (the idea of using supplements, electronics, mindfulness, and technology to hack our lives into better, optimal, humans. Are you hacking as hard as you can? Are there hacks that hurt? Would you hack with something that gives you great results for the next ten years, but kills you ten years quicker? Is it dangerous? Is there data on it from reliable sources?

You’ve seen all the new “enhancing” drinks on the market. We’re talking a few steps beyond RedBull, nowadays most energy drinks boast some neutraceutical superfood or supplement as part of their pretty can and alluring promises. More attention. Greater clarity and focus. Energy, yes, but enlightened energy, in some form, seems to be the promise. I’m a fan. But the jury is out on the results these nootropics can deliver. Is there a risk? Are there downsides to great enhancements? Are there any “must do” biohacks that this group recommends? That’s what I set out to see, by attending PaleoFx 2018 this weekend in Austin, Texas.

The random capture, during the talk, as I was trying to understand the terminology and the brands/products that were being mentioned. I was also trying to catch some pearls of wisdom, truisms, big points that these biohack pioneers were giving out.

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Smoke a lot of weed while I’m fasting so I can sleep.

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Hacker Guide: Do yoga and meditate.
Enthusiast: Why do you keep telling me to do yoga and meditate?
Hacker: You mean you’re not doing it yet?
Enthusiast: Um…
Hacker: That’s why I keep saying it. Do yoga and meditate.

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We need to leverage the group data. Build better datasets overall. Google Health seemed to be going in the right direction. Let’s see what comes next for building larger datasets on what works and what doesn’t. Maybe there’s a role for blockchain in all this.

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SelfQuant: get datasets on yourself, the stuff your blood can tell you, get it done, get your dataset, if I’d have known I would’ve done mine a lot sooner. Learn your data. Learn where you need support and work.

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The cow is the problem. (eat meat if you like, but eat healthy meat, not mainstream meat.

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Self-awareness is the biggest hack of all!

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Hydration is the number one biohack!

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Intermittent fasting: “Is there something good to eat here, eat. Is there nothing good to eat here: fast.”

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I’ve got my stem cells stored offline for future use.

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Favorite Hack/Device: PMF device. Pulse Electromagnetic Frequency.

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https://www.longecity.org/forum/

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I have a little bit of experience with this substance: modafinil


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Know what your goals are and modify your intake based on those. If you try something and you feel like shit the next day, you might not put that in your stack.

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Givens/Must-haves/Of Course

Fish oil & vitamin D
CoQ10
CBD-DMH
Creatine

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LSD makes me feel fantastic. Micro-dosing.

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Likeme.net
Patientslikeme
Sensor21 – reddit

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Livestream PaleoFX Now

PaleoFx

Be careful out there, and practice safehex.

John McElhenney – let’s connect online
@jmacofearth & Google+ & Facebook & LinkedIn

All HEALTH/WELLNESS posts from Uber.la

YouTube TV – How Do You Get Your Entertainment On?

tv.youtube.com

Do you stream? Do you steal?

Once you cut the cord what are you willing to pay for programming? Do you pay for programming or do you “stream it” for free? I’m curious. I’m going to BUY the free 7-day trial just to get a feel for what Google/YouTube is proposing. I think the cable wars are in high gear. Apple TV, Alexa, Amazon Prime, Google, Facebook, everyone is in motion and trying to capture your recurring dollars.

The cable cutting wars are on. And who has love lost for the giants? (TimeWarner/Spectrum, Comcast, etc) Because, really, fuck them. TimeWarner has been jacking with rates, with barring competition from local markets, having terrible service records, and basically sticking it to us for $120 or more per month for our high-speed internet and cable service. In my current neighborhood, TimeWarner/Spectrum is the only game. ATT has DSL but that’s a joke.

So fuck the big cable monopoly, right? But who are we going to get programming from for our giant flat-screen tvs? Live sports? (Live sports seems to be the cable tether. You can buy packages from individual networks, but for live tennis, live football, live Olympics, you need your cable. Right? Well, not so fast.

I’m going to jump into the world of alternative entertainment networks. Here’s the landscape as I see it.

  • TimeWarner/Spectrum (the evil empire)
  • Over-the-air solutions (antennae available at Walmart and other fine retailers)
  • Amazon Prime and other similar services (Hulu, Cracked, etc)
  • Premium Network Subscriptions (HBO Go, ESPN, ShowTime, Sundance Channel)
  • AppleTV (who are the alternatives? Amazon FireStick)
  • YouTube TV

Yep, the big daddy of streaming media (YouTube) and the big daddy of online everything (Google) have taken to the interwebs to bring you the next thing in streaming entertainment. (They are the same company, btw.) I mean, if you get everything from Google it simplifies things, doesn’t it? (Unless you think Google is evil, and they just might be.)

What am I missing? What alternatives have you used to get your entertainment fix?

  • Torrents
  • LiveStreaming Pirate TV
  • Other…

The world of getting your $20 – $250 per month business is HOT. And it’s HUGE. All the players are in the game of winning your monthly stipend. If they can get your “tether” as TimeWarner has owned it since the dawn of cable, they are poised to make a boatload of money in the coming years. As our demands for bandwidth increase (4K Netflix anyone) and our hunger for better, edgier, programming grows, so does our willingness to pay, and pay well, for our fun.

  • Do you stream?
  • Do you pirate?
  • Do you subscribe to TimeWarner’s cable empire?
  • Have you tried other alternative services?
  • Are you happy with your entertainment package?
  • What are you going to watch tonight? How do you decide? (What’s on? What’s inexpensive or free based on your services?)

I always give my 85-yo mom a hard time when she says, “Oh, I watched this awful show on TV last night.”

“Really mom?” I ask. “You don’t have to watch shitty movies anymore. I can get you hooked up to Netflix for less than $10 a month…”

She hasn’t made the leap. I’m not sure why. (I guess I need to ask her again.) Have you made the transition away from traditional entertainment, bundled, cable? How is it going?

Be careful out there, and practice safehex.

John McElhenney – let’s connect online
@jmacofearth & Google+ & Facebook & LinkedIn

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*** alternative ***

If you’re going to practice some of the alternative methods of being entertained I recommend you use a VPN. I’m not condoning or providing any links, but I use SPYOFF.

I recall the early days of the internet and downloading, where we came up with the phrase, “Practice safehex.” What that meant back then, if you download something scan it for a virus before opening it. Today it means, if you’re doing something questionable online, perhaps use a bit of tech that obscures your activity. I’m just sayin… Trust no one, and be safe out there. (Yes, I mean myself included. Don’t trust me, just get the information for yourself.)

Are You Ready for YouTube.TV?

Google’s about to take on the cable industry. Are you ready to buy your TV from Google? I was sharing a video from YouTube today and this ad popped up at the bottom of my browser window.

What? First Google/YouTube needed to check if my area was served by their programming.

Or perhaps they were simply pulling up the available add-ons. I’m sure most of the other BIGGIES will follow ShowTime’s lead here. Because if it catches on, YouTube.TV might be the best reason to ditch cable.

And then it was time to BUY NOW. Um, wait, what? Nothing now, but my trial is going to be 43.30 after taxes, after 7 days? Okay I’m going to hold off for a minute. There’s nothing on TV that I want to watch right now. But I’ll put up my review of YouTube TV soon.

 

Are you ready to get everything from Google? Tell us about your experience with YouTube TV in the comments section.

Started my trial today, May 1, 2018. Must remember to cancel subscription before my trial is over. So far, yes, now I can waste time watching TV without having a TV. Will I really want to watch Colbert as it airs? Can I watch it air in NYC so it comes on an hour ealier than here in Texas? Can I use a VPN to spoof my location to be NYC so I can watch it an hour early?

So far, commercials are the same. And since I don’t watch much TV I feel like I can catch up on those. How’s the Amazon/Whole Foods Combo striking ya?

Be careful out there, and practice safehex.

John McElhenney – let’s connect online
@jmacofearth & Google+ & Facebook & LinkedIn

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