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Telling The Bad Manager’s Story

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We must memorialize the bad managers in our lives and careers. I wrote a book about the Return to the Office conundrum and the lies most employees were being told about why we were being asked, and then ordered, to return to the cube farm of work. I chronicled a manager who began to work against me. She began to sabotage projects. She would assign me a task and then do it herself. It was a no-win situation.

Strike The First Blow

The funny thing happened when she filed a PIP (performance improvement plan) to HR in an effort to get rid of me. There was a 30-day timer on the PIP. Make her really happy, or I was gone.

There was ONE HUGE PROBLEM.

Every single one of her PIP allegations was a lie. I had screenshots, performance reviews, and website metrics to disprove all of her 8 claims. All of them. And not a “miscommunication” issue, a blatant lie. In response, I went to HR and demanded a review of the PIP and an opportunity to refute each of her charges.

I did refute her charges. I am certain she was not prepared for the first HR “mediated” session, to see if we could clear up any misunderstandings. I had a slideshow, a timeline, and screenshots of all of my “evidence.” She had her false statements in the PIP. The mediation ended in a stalemate. [Note to the reader: HR is never there to help the employee with the complaint. HR has the primary job of protecting the company, and in this case my faulty manager.

What happened after the two reviews with HR and my manager is nothing. My manager continued to send aggressive and demeaning emails, but not I would simply respond to her and CC the legal counsel for HR. That stopped her misbehavior immediately. The good news is, I found another job, and was able to put in my two-week notice before my managers or HR could figure out how to navigate their liabilities for firing me without cause.

We must hold a BAD MANAGER accountable.

In this case, I had a well-documented presentation ready to send to HR that detailed many more incidents of bad behavior. I really wanted to send it to HR and my boss’s boss on my last day. I did not send it.

What’s the point? What’s the goal? If my goal was to hurt my emotionally stunted manager, that was a non-starter. So I put some of the story in my book. I still wonder about my team, still working for her. I never understood how teammates went dark after I left. I thought we were friends. I did not throw anyone under the bus. But, of course, they were staying in their positions under this bad manager. Perhaps there were reasons I didn’t know about for their disassociation with me.

  • When your manager begins limiting your opportunities, it’s time to look for “what’s next.”
  • When your manager’s reviews and one-on-ones have gone from A+ to D, it’s time to explore other options.
  • When your manager begins having 1-on-1 meetings with the stakeholders of your current projects, without you, it’s time to update your resume.
  • When your manager begins to treat you poorly, it’s time to document all the things (screenshots, emails, documents, project plans).

Work is hard enough. Finding a great job on a great team is even harder. Having a manager go from champion to tormentor, that’s uncalled for, and frightening.

Team and Human Intelligence First

Building trust in a high-performing team is essential. Especially in our asynchronous world of remote work, trust in your other teammates is critical. When a manager begins to behave erratically toward someone on the team, the entire team suffers. When there is discord in one relationship, it begins to infect all of the relationships.

I came up with the phrase “Hats on, heads down, resumes out.” This describes my behavior once a manager has shown an adverse position. Keep your hat on: don’t try to stand out. Heads down: do your work to the best of your ability. Resumes out: start looking for a new job.

I hope you find your place on a team and are given the opportunity to thrive and perform. A highly efficient team is a thrill to be a part of. A dysfunctional team is a threat to everyone on the team. Once I left my bad manager’s team, I was no longer responsible for my former colleagues’ well-being. But as an empathetic partner, I was interested in staying in touch and providing any support and recommendations I could. A toxic team leader will force the severance, bad mouth the fallen teammate, and try to bolster their reputation by exposing how bad an employee the absent employee was.

She Was Failing In Many Ways

My clearest example of “departed are now enemies” behavior came while I was early in my tenure at an advertising agency. One of our rockstar account members left the team to move to California. The owner of the agency behaved like an angry child, letting out his disappointment at losing a great performer, by sharing how she wasn’t really meeting her goals for the company. 100% bullshit. I was on the inside. She was lovely. She made a decision to move with her husband. The boss was hurt. But rather than be honest, he needed to show that her departure was because she was about to be fired anyway.

Ouch.

There’s a trust problem on most teams. If people feel certain members are being treated differently, there’s going to be resentment. If there are stragglers who are not getting their work done, yet they are allowed to stay and bring the entire team down, that’s an issue.

Honesty is the first law of teamwork. Transparency is second. And trust is the fuel that allows teams to accelerate and achieve exceptional results. Once the manager is firing arrows at any member of the team, everyone begins checking their path to the exits.

John McElhenney —  LinkedIn

Please check out a few of my books on AMAZON


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