I got a LinkedIn request from a gentleman this morning. Interesting profile. I said yes. Then I asked, “How do you know Rick?”

“I don’t.”

“Okay, are you interested in my company, or what?”

“What company?”

Sent him the stock ticker symbol.

“What’s that?”

“My company.”

“I don’t have any interest in publicly traded companies.”

FULL STOP

We need to quit being so giving and open on social media and in our lives. Second example.

Friend sent a song today via Spotify. I didn’t respond immediately. Followed on with “Have you heard of these guys?” It was girls, but okay. “Nope. Listening now. Love the production, not so much the vocals. What do you love about them?”

“Just discovered on Bandcamp, year-end review.”

“Oh. And how about you, any recording dates coming up for your music?”

“Not at this time.”

Crickets.

FULL STOP

++++

Okay, I am an empathetic optimist. I love talking to people. It’s part of what I do for a living. I’m learning that the energy exchange goes both ways. Both of these conversations happened 100% in text. Good. That way I could keep doing what I was doing.

Another guy reached out on the phone this morning. A colleague in business and friend. He was interested in what I was doing. “Saw something on LinkedIn,” he said. “Was it about AI?”

We had a great conversation. Yes, he’s started a new job. And Yes, we can probably help each other.

Two requests for future conversations:

• If you’re calling or emailing know what you want. What’s the purpose and goal of your contact?
• If you just want to catch up, let me know that too. I love gabbing.

And two *please do not” ideas:

• Don’t send random invites, messages, and “hellos” without context. If I’d spoken to my musical friend in the last six weeks it wouldn’t have been odd to get little more than a song. But he ended that type of relationship a few years back. He didn’t want me to text him anymore. “It’s too disruptive.” Just call if you want to talk.” I should play back his message for him today.
• Don’t start filling up my inbox, my voicemail, or my DMs with MARKETING. Yes, I know that’s what I do. But I don’t spam. My voicemail is clogged with “Hello, I’m …”

The worst was a “Virtual Recruiter Peggy” texting me. It was a poorly configured and trained chatbot. No no no no no. My phone message inbox is sacred to me. All these tools to do direct text marketing, don’t add me to the list. You’ll be blocked. The “Do Not Call” list exists for a reason.

Let’s be LESS KIND to marketers and television ads. Let’s open ourselves and be MORE KIND to everyone around us. My kids roll their eyes when I ask the waiter how their day is going. I’m that guy. I genuinely want to know.

I am a lead generator. I am a communicator. And I love what I do. I am not open to solicitation through my voicemail or messaging. LinkedIn is fair game.

Remember the ongoing “Do you like my hat, theme in Go Dog Go?”

Said a friendly “Good-by” to my LinkedIn troller. And I say an interested “Hello” to you. But I’ve got to save some bandwidth for the ones I love. And myself.

Final example, from several years ago. A woman I cohabitated with and loved sent me a random photo off her phone of me with her dad’s dog. Nothing else. I resisted the need to engage. It’s important for us empathic people to DISENGAGE when the relationship is over. This applies to business and personal relationships.

The I said, f-it and I hit CALL. Here’s what I got.

End of conversation.

It is okay to disengage, not answer, and block someone who you don’t have any desire to hear from again. My musical friend, well, I’m still open to chats, but probably won’t surface again for a month or two. Unless he needs something from me. People get real chummy when they want something. Don’t be that person.

Be kind, even when you are saying,”No thank you.”

John McElhenney —  LinkedIn

Please check out a few of my books on AMAZON. 

Especially this one, about living a creative and human life of intention and joy. 100% human generated – with the exception of ai-assisted spelling.